Look Behind The Curtain IN PROCESS

Let's take a look behind 

the "marketing" and "tour presentation" 

statements for many Long Term Care facilities. 

First area of "inspection" -- DINING.

Dining As It Appears:  

Walking in you'll see tables, often a TV, 

Maybe it's a combination "community room" 

used for visiting musical groups or for other uses. 

You're told how residents are "encouraged" 

to come to the dining room. 

How the staff has been trained in "

white glove individual service" 

and it's like dining in a nice restaurant. 

You're told.

If for some reason 

they can't get to the dining room 

or would prefer to "dine in their room", 

this is simply accomplished 

by the resident calling ahead 

and ordering what they'd like. 

Picture, if you will, 

someone with poor eyesight 

given a list with items on it 

about the size of this type. 

The list is in columns 

but isn't organized, just randomly posted. 

On any given day 

certain items 

"may not be available".

 

The resident, 

who has difficulty making decisions 

due to advancing Dementia, 

or just indecisiveness, 

now has to make another choice. 

Reading is challenging.

Listening is confusing.

So they ask for and receive

What "they always order".

Reality Dining:

This mulitpurpose room 

may be used several times a quarter 

for meetings and other events 

and closed to residents. 

Residents dine in the dining room

on their floor or in their room. 

This can be for one meal: 

breakfast, lunch or dinner 

OR it can be for an entire day.

Dining on the resident's living floor

is in a small area where residents

who cannot travel the distance 

or do not have the mental or physical abilities 

to sit with others due to either behaviour 

or limitations are regularly dining. 

No conversation possible.

Do not turn away. 

This will not change

It will be "your way" someday.

Dining begins and service ends at a set time. 

If you don't make it, you may have to settle 

for whatever might happen to be 

in the refrigerator on your floor 

and due to "cutbacks" that's possibly 

now limited to ice cream, 

bologna sandwiches,

maybe some low fat milk.

Some would say it's "service'

Others would say it's "control".

Life Lessons Learned

Some say you can adjust, make the best of a life challenge.                                   It's like falling into the "rabbit hole" of Alice in Wonderland.

You try your best, do what you can and often "go with the flow".

Here's what I wrote as we struggled just to move day to day:

Daughter and I are both trying to find full time jobs.

We're both working part time.

Can't afford to work on Commission basis.

Need consistent income to overcome and just pay bills.

With full time jobs, we would have some security.

We've found "gigs"--always waiting for the next one "to appear".

One day out of many. We needed desperately to be different.

We both had the day off. This was unusual. 

We had enough in our "budget" for the week to use the Gas                                             we had in the tank and replace it. 

Decided to "splurge" and take a chance,                                                                         to continue to survive, move forward.

We, separately and together, felt the need to feel close.                                           That meant traveling to Mom's gravesite.

To gain strength from being "near" as we did for years.

A journey of more than 100 miles round trip,                                                         providing some peace -- now that we've returned.

It's been difficult at my work lately. 

Challenges I'm not sure I want to continue to endure.

With no other opportunities, I keep believing in tomorrow.

Like many others, we move from day to day.

We know this time provides the basis                                                                           for our keeping a roof over our heads                                                                     and food on the table.

I know I can't walk away until I find another. 

This is the typical "world of work" and I am only one of many.

There's one "challenge" I face many do not -- 

Not so easy to find work "at my age".

Mom's life was her example to me                                                                                    of personal strength and caring beyond yourself. 

She taught me to believe in my "self'. 

I'd practiced that lesson many times over when she was around.