Sons, daughters, other family members come and go. They choose when to arrive and when to depart.
Friends and family, recent & lifetime, connect when “they can”.
Choice and Time are theirs; when to stay and how to leave.
A small amount of guilt, a large amount of relief.
Long Term Care limits and controls all.
Visitors can walk away.
Residents must sit and stay.
Friends & Family have “lives to lead”
Often setting aside “the visit” or “the stay”.
Who has the “authority” and who “wants” to wear that hat?
Recall those times as kids when no one wanted to “be IT”?
The one who wore the mask, unable to see.
Hands outstretched, reaching for someone who kept moving.
That’s Dementia. That’s the Care Giver’s Everyday.
We who lived this way see life from very different angles.
You come and go, call and write but seldom visit and stay.
It’s too remindful, “there is where I someday might be”.
Too “real", too “overwhelming”, seeing time that’s passed.
Next time “I’ll just call”. I can “visit more often" that way.
Reality, I simply can’t face the sights, smells and limitations.
It’s my duty. It’s “my time to care”. I can come and go.
Then you “rationalize”, they don’t know me, they won’t recall.
My visit is “for me” and it’s upsetting to hear and see.
“He” or “she” brings negative to mind memories.
We’re “so busy” and “too tired”.
Excuses and Reasons to skip another day.
To relieve our Souls we pause and recall.
The times when “they” failed to “give” or “learn”
We soothe ourselves painting over times we disagreed.
Soon come infrequent visits to a gravesite and Headstone.
We write our life story each day we’re allowed.
Then comes loss of decisions and control
Hands unable to change direction or stop what’s inevitable.
Who Me? I’ll always “have my say”
Life for me has always been “day to day”.
I welcome the challenge, the ways and the means.
I hope and pray someone hears and sees.
The best way to help is to see every possibility.
