Separate/Residence

Sons, daughters, other family members come and go.                           They “choose” when to arrive and when to leave.

Friends and family, recent & lifetime, connect when “they can”.

Choice and Time are theirs; when to stay and how to leave.

 

A small amount of guilt, a large amount of relief.

Long Term Care limits and controls.

 

Visitors can walk away.

Residents have less to no freedom to leave.

 

Friends & Family have “lives to lead” and “things to do”.

Often putting off, setting aside “the visit” or “the stay”.

 

Who has the “authority” and who “wants” to wear that hat?

Recall those times as kids when no one wanted to “be IT”?

 

The one who wore the mask, unable to see.

Hands outstretched, reaching for someone who kept moving.

 

That’s Dementia. That’s the Care Giver’s Everyday.

We who lived this way see life from very different angles.

 

You come and go, call and write but seldom visit and stay.

It’s too remindful, “there is where I someday might be”.

 

Too “real”, too “overwhelming”, seeing time that’s passed.

Next time “I’ll just call”. I can “visit” more often that way.

 

Really, I simply can’t face the sights, smells and limitations.

It’s my duty. It’s “my time to care”. I can come and go.

 

Then you “rationalize”, they don’t know me, they won’t recall

My visit is “for me” and it’s upsetting to hear and see.

 

“He” or “she” brings negative memories to mind.

We’re “so busy” and “too tired”.

Excuses and Reasons to skip another day.

 

To relieve our Souls we pause and recall.

The times when “they” failed to “give” or “learn”

 

We soothe ourselves painting over times we disagreed.

Soon come infrequent visits to a gravesite and Headstone.

 

We write our life story each day we’re allowed.

 

Then comes loss of decisions and control

Hands unable to change direction or stop what’s inevitable.

 

Who Me?  I’ll always “have my say” 

Life for me has always been “day to day”.

 

I welcome the challenge, the ways and the means.

I’ll hang on until I can no more.

I hope and pray someone hears and sees.

The best way to help is to see "Me".

Life Values Hit or Miss

YOU make the difference each time you read or share with someone.                         

I value more than words can say your making time to read this day.

It's YOU who continue to make the light shine in darkness --                                    

May tomorrow open more windows and doors for all.                                                  Here's my latest life's journey share:

Started in childhood.                                                                                            Finishing in old age.                               

Ideas once found.                                                                                                          Now thoughts lost.

Time and circumstance,                                                                                                Moved mountains into sight.      

Believed we held keys                                                                                                    To find what's best and right.

TIME. . .

Measured individually.                                                                                                Seldom repeats or returns.                                                                                        Spend Wisely.

LOST. . .

Forgotten and overlooked.                                                                                        Passed by not seeing.                                                                                          Purposely set aside.

LEAVES. . .

Slips away.                                                                                                                  Falls apart.                                                                                                                    Held close in the heart. 

LIFE HOLES . . .                                                                                                              Beginning To  End                                                                                                  Growing, developing,                                                                                        Influencing, affecting.

Patch or fill.                                                                                                            Choose or chase.

The choice is yours.                                                                                                  Don't wait til it's too late! 

Some Pray, Others Prey

IN MEMORIAM: My Ongoing Gift to Mom

August 8th, her birth date.

Happy Birthday, Mama.-- Miss You -- 

Round The World & Back Again

As we used to say to one another.

Stil hard to accept Mom has left.

She was so strong, she did not give in.

At least that's what I saw.

Here's what I wrote 

To Honor Mom's Memory

As I deal with personal experience

Elder Abuse In A High Tech World . . .

It reminds me of 

Safety of our aging

Needs support --

Those who abuse

Need to lose.

To change the course 

Of predators with

Abilities to use

AI against us. 

Years later I still cringe.

Memories of her still like a syringe.

 

Sharks swim where there is "food"

In humans, the weak and aging 

Are the ones they choose.

A slug has approximately 27,000 teeth – 

that's more teeth than a shark. 

It's to encourage you to see the light

Behind, beyond and in plain sight. 

 

Like sharks, slugs routinely lose & replace their teeth. 

When a slug loses one of its sensory tentacles,

it grows another, usually within a few months.

Slugs appear to move slowly.

As they go, they leave behind

A trail of stinky, smelly stuff.

Human "Slugs" volunteer.

Always looking to "be near".

Invasion in my life; 

Is nothing private, safe, 

Belonging to "me" or 

To whom I CHOSE to share?

Predators abound.

They now wear 'titles"

Feeling they're "in charge".

They move into positions

Where control is their focus.

Not unlike Julia did to Mom.

Often work "the System"

Looking for the vulnerable.

 

Solo Access their desire.

Control the goal. 

 

Trust is critical to build.

It's the "Keys to their Kingdom".

 

Make the "mark" feel vulnerable.

Find fault with "family" and keep questioning.

 

Be a friend, visit often. 

Gradually find less time.

 

Remove yourself.

Build a need.

 

Absence 

Makes the Heart

Grow Fonder. 

 

Active in the Community.

Church included.

Best place to "pick and choose".

 

Those who attend "need help"

Many believe.

Others say: "It's for the weak"

 

Who goes to "Church"

To Hunt and Find? 

Some "slither in" leaving filth behind

You don't discover as they know how to hide.

Elder Abuse can be hidden from sight

Those determined know all the cards to play.

Some trained in professions along the way.

 

Beware, my friends, it's a long walk.

They seem to know, to talk the talk.

 

When you least expect they'll find a way.

Their goal to disrupt and to make "YOU" pay.

 

For what? You ask. Not seeing the lies.

Their need to control isn't seen in their eyes. 

Using AI to remove and replace,

Leaving few "foot prints" as "they" create "space"

Age is a number, it moves day by day,

Take heed you who read

As lines of demarcation are always redrawn.

Grand Reflections

Mom and Dad                                                                                                                   Go out the door.                                                                

Who returns first today?  

No way to say.                                                                                                                   All depends. . .                                                                                                                 On Work -- they say.                                                                                  

Thought I could.                                                                                                       Wished I would.                                                                           

Need arose.                                                                                                                       Time to "Close"                                                                                               

Time ran so fast.                                                                                                             "Kids" in the past.                                                              

Why do I feel                                                                                                                     they come and they go. . .

When want or need                                                                                                         gives them great speed.

Hi Nana, Bye Nana!                                                                                                           How you doin? 

We're off to the Beach.                                                                                                       Think we might still be in                                                                                                   Cell Phone Reach

Spending time has benefited them                                                                                   At great expense to me.   

So busy. No time to connect.                                                                                       They'll soon find the "pack".                                                                                             Is now on "their back".

Have they arrived? Still on their way?                                                                           Will they think to connect?                                                                                             Forget it's "My Day"?

One is abusive. He thrives on delusion.                                                                           His only response is to blame and reject.

He chose a path we could not take.                                                                                 It led to his rejection. Violence his reaction.

Not in this way. Not at this time.                                                                                         His twists and turns sets fires, create burns

Bowing only stimulates continued abuse, lies & hate.                          

Truth remains.                                                                                                                 My path is straight.                                                    

Crooked journeys in life                                                                                                   Lead to self-destruction & strife.

TWO SHORTS FOR ONE LONG.

TIME. . . 

Measured individually.

Seldom repeats or returns.

Spend Wisely.

 

LOST. . .

Forgotten and overlooked.

Passed by not seeing.

Purposely set aside.

 

LEAVES. . . 

Slips away.

Falls apart.

Runs fastest.

 

LIFE. . . 

Beginning

To 

End

 

HOLES.  

Growing, developing,

Influencing, affecting.

Patch or fill.

Choose or chase.

 

LONG ROAD SEPARATES

No land line now

In hand, pocket, purse

 

We call that progress.

It’s really regress.

Thought For Each Day

First and foremost THANK YOU for caring and spending your time visiting and reading this Blog. You make my day.

TIME. . . Measured individually. 

Seldom repeats or returns. 

Spend Wisely.

LOST. .  .   Forgotten and overlooked.

Passed by not seeing.    

Purposely set aside.

LEAVE. . .  

Slip away.

Fall apart.

Run fast 

 

LIFE. . .  

Beginning

To End

 

HOLES.  .  .

Growing, developing,

Influencing, affecting.

Patch or fill.  .  .

Choose or chase.

Your choice for the moment

Your "song" of the day.

Before I Go.

Reaching out,                                                                                       

We set the pace.

Busy is not reason 

to replace.

 

So easy to share 

with dozens and more.

 

What are you doing 

standing here and there?

 

Maybe a “video” 

or “reel” to share.

 

Your voice, your notes, 

are what we crave.

Too busy, you say?

Click and I’m far away.

 

To find another 

time to spend.

To share with many

before “the end”.

 

One phone call 

over decades.

 

You’re not a child.

You call your friends.

 

Make your plans.

We are all moving 

toward “the end”.

 

How many times 

Did you visit ?

Relatives, Family and Friends?

 

Close to where you lived?

When you went on trips?

 

“We” should be calling, 

Connecting with “You”?

Realize you’ve drifted apart

It was great then, at the start.

 

Now they have different interests

Their time is theirs to spend

 

You’re only in the picture

When it can be seen or sent

 

Always “we” should provide,

Give and hand out 

Hands and pockets opened wide.

Where does that get "you", my friend.

Same place as all others, to the very end. 

May She Get What She Gave

ABUSERS are in plain sight. 

We might even see them as "helpers".

They infiltrate a Senior's life seeming to care. 
They often "work" or "volunteer" with Seniors. 

They may, like our abuser, even be a "professional" 

in the field of "caregiving" and holding valued 

and valuable credentials like Doctor, Nurse, etc.

Ours was an RN -- she'd let her license expire, 

until she found a "perfect subject" and knew 

she needed to renew the one piece of paper 

that gave her a License to "report" to the State.

She gave false, misleading and deceptive information.
Old saying "Wolf in sheep's clothing" is a warning.

Someone who intends to do wrong

Can appear to be helpful, caring, 

claiming interest in "coming alongside;

 

All the while they're watching, 

waiting and anticipating -- 

to make their move.

 

To gain control of the Senior,

upon whom they want to prey 

and the family members or friends.

How do they find "us" -- the people who care for,

try to care for, loved ones with challenges?

 

They lookfor aging  and possibly 

in the stage of Dementia 

where they can be influenced, 

led &  talked into taking actions or 

"taken" through theft and manipulation.

Ever watched a predator. 

They wait. They watch. 
They single out "the most vulnerable".

When predators focus, it's on those they see 

as weak and they locate their "prey", 

they act like any other animal "hunting".

 

She convinced Mom to move out

of the home we shared for decades.

 

Didn' know until my oldest son told

me I'd been abusing his grandmother.

 

Interesting. Mom had everything.

Julia made sure she had the minimal.

The easier to control and separate. 

 

Anyone who takes an Elder to their

Bank, has them close a checking account 

Has them pay for a Safety Deposit Box

ensuring their name is on it -- 

I call that a Predator.

 

Julia's aging. I hope she lives long.

I pray she gets the treatment  she gave

To our most vulnerable including MOM.

 

How many has she manipulated, controlled,

and, yes, tried to or actually stolen from?

As I move forward, Advocating for Seniors

I know I can't move Mountains.

 

On the Government Level or related, 

my focus is to Raise Awareness.

Grass Roots Actions Are Important.

Volunteer. Visit Senior Residences.

Observe. Watch. Report when needed.

Open Doors & Windows Let in Fresh Air.

Report. Report. Report. 

Down The Rabbit Hole

It’s in plain sight 

A short distance away

If I plan my time just right

Today’s my day!

 

I’ve been told 

“I” Can Do It!

It rings in my ears

It sits in my brain.

 

What exactly am I aiming for?

How do you Play "This Game"?

 

Gram and Gramps thought they “had it”

They worked and they gave.

Typical Worker’s Dream 

All have tried and seen.

 

Then Mom and Dad 

Were  boosted into place.

Took over the reins

Always“First” in The Race.

 

College was necessary.

The Best one you could find.

.

Never mind the payback, kids,

Your time, not mine.

 

You look ahead and see

Dark clouds moving fast.

Rain and snow 

Needed to grow.

 

All the Prep and Change

Will “definitely "help me”.

Stop sign ahead, must look around.

Put everyting you know down on the ground.

Those steps you took, 

Made you look.

Now they're obsolete.

Not used by anyone "on the street"

 

When will I see where I should go?

Each path I take is at “full load”

 

Someone’s arrived before I could see

The “best place” is taken,

And it’s not by ME.

 

So now what, I ask

What’s the “New Task”?

Setting me on my way

Creating MY “Perfect Day”?

 

Follow the Rabbit

See it run for its hole?

Smart bunny, bunny.

He knows where to find moles.

 

Those creatures can dig.

They know where to go.

Now “If Only” I can learn

Then maybe I will earn.

 

My dreams will come true.

Or will I be – like you? 

Level Up

It’s all about improving “you”.                                

That’s the Key for all you do.

Don’t settle for “down” 

When you can move around.

Raise hands, Move feet!

Step up to be seen, ensure to meet.

Listen and learn!     

Time to think and turn.

Self improvement

Is the chance to take.                                                   

You can still create and make.

Find the “right path”.                                                      

Be On Your Way.

Today there’s Free Speech.    

And you can teach.

Will the path continue to provide 

Or are we stepping onto another ride?    

Keep The Door Open

Our Journey's Full Circle.                                                                                                 From Birth through Life then Death.                                                           

Small blip on a screen.                                                                                                    You enter the world with a scream

Moving from the safety of the womb.                                                                             So short the trip to reach the tomb.                                                              

A society that "gurgles" and smiles.                                                                             Every time you pass gas, burp or "coo".

All you do is measured and notated.                                                                             What will you be? Where will you go?

How will you look? What will you see?                                                                         Will you always return to visit with me?

Perhaps when you're grown you'll travel far.                                                                   You might even live on some distant star.

Years pass and you'll find your own way.                                                                       You'll forget, replace, chart your unique pace.

Will I become like so many I know?                                                                             Taken for granted then abandoned, alone.

I gave you wings to fly and now you soar.                                                                   Never thought when you left, you'd close the door.

Miles between, seldom time for you to call.                                                                     I've learned to accept, to wait and to "see".

For if I connect too often                                                                                                     I know what you'll think of me.

Bragging Rights

Look what you've done!                                                                                               How capable you are!

I can see your success.                                                                                                   Along with the rest.

I've seen you cry.                                                                                                           How hard you try.

I know you need to run and play                                                                                   Some day you'll even step away.

Seeing you now in your crib.                                                                                             Putting on that first bib.

Soon what I see.                                                                                                                Is how you are following me.

And all who've walked this way.                                                                                   You're approaching your day.

When your kids will see you as "old'.                                                                                 No longer the person providing "the gold".                 

They'll need to help you each day.                                                                                 Or will they turn and walk away?

It's the way of the world.                                                                                                   We play and we pay.