LABELS are a challenge
to all ages and groups in society.
They come with varying shapes and durability.
Some can be temporary and others permanent.
Many do not deserve
the strength they're given.
Ever hear someone say
about a person with Dementia
how "childlike" they are?
We don't say to those
beyond a certain age as Adults,
"you're so adult".
We feel perfectly comfortable
referring to the actions & behaviors
of Seniors as "childlike"
Believing they have poor hearing
Inability to see well
Surely not able to "care".
Allowing ourselves to believe
this is acceptable and expected.
We fail to recognize
Dementia isn't one size fits all.
Seniors have the ability
to take offense at hearing
this "labeling"of themselves
or others in this way.
Some parents caution other adults
"Be careful what you say"
Citing the name of a Child
Admonishing about they're "listening".
Some people believe
Aging always means
Loss of sight and sound
When we use the term "childlike",
we often believe the person
is incapable of understanding,
or hearing what was said.
To the contrary,
Many are quite competent
"I hear you", they want to say
Soon you will have "your day"
Those values of behavior
are generally used comparing
and contrasting actions and words
to expectations of what we think
should be seen or heard.
If, however, we use a comparison,
once used with men versus women --
that's "feminine" or that's "masculine"--
we would be looked at by society
as being "chauvinistic" or "feminist".
As a society,
we need to remove
this "Senioristic"
set of labels
that starts early
in today's life expectancy.
Too soon we begin
to devalue individuals
with "Seniorism" and "Ageism".
We feel comfortable
with adding
additional labels,
including "childlike".
Too many times
It's medications.
Recall how you've reacted
Given "meds"
Your body can't tolerate?
We spend years of life working
to leave "childhood" behind,
to become independent,
self sufficient, capable,
productive and more.
Only to be told,
or have someone talk about
those around us, in our age group
or a little older, as being: "childlike"?
It's offensive for those
who can hear,
understand and care.
It's as offensive as talking
religion, skin color,
sexuality, gender.
In the United States age denotes ability.
Advancing age or achieved age
brings beliefs there are specific levels
of ability and capability,
seen as "good" or "not good".
You are categorized and pigeonholed
for achieving what we all aim for --
gaining life experience and knowledge.
A few are accepted and even revered,
most are set aside and walked away from.
We should weigh carefully
our choice of descriptive words.
Using "childlike" can be seen as
"loving, caring and wanting to protect".
Those actions may be seen
as well intentioned,
they also act as a lessening
of the value of a person.
Just try calling an adult woman
a "girl" or adult man a "boy",
especially if they happen to be
of a certain ethnicity. . .
How acceptable to them is
your "endearment" of
"She's such a nice girl" or
"He's really a great boy" ?
Childlike because of their constant smiles
like one woman I visit in Mom's old facility?
Because of her constant mantra:
"Honey", "Honey", "Honey"?
Or perhaps like another woman
who always seems to be frowning;
everything she says has a "negative sound"
like she's angry -- due to muscle inability.
She's characterized
as someone
mad at the world,
probably always has been.
The first woman's response
may be part of her earlier adult life
when she interacted with a husband,
or a family member,
her pet name for them was "Honey".
This piece of memory remains.
She looks for this person all around her.
She calls out for him/her
as her mind reaches out
using what remains of this memory.
The second woman
may have led a life
where being aggressive and assertive
was part of her everyday life.
She might be reacting
to what she sees and hears in the facility
and it's her way of ensuring
she keeps it from happening to her.
Individuals All.
Lives Lived.
Caregiving, uplifting,
Now put down
By a society
Valuing " high competency".
