Each time I touch
My oldest son came to visit once during the time his father was critically ill.
Every time I tried to trust him, he turned around and found a way to cause me harm --
or see something.
A part of husband
or mother's life.
I'm reminded of
criticisms by family
and others.
Sons lived 8 hours
drive away.
One Son
came to visit.
The other
couldn't find the time.
Critical family members
and a Church member
as a caregiver for Mom
and for my husband.
Only one of these
Only one of these
came into the house.
Only one provided
any type of "assistance".
40 hours over 11 months often with several weeks in between.
I'm being very generous
calling it "assistance".
What she did was find ways
to disrupt and destroy
my Mom
and her relationship with me.
I've had many conversations with women who have been caregivers,
for immediate family members, husbands, other relatives and friends.
Almost all tell stories of abuse suffered from other family members and friends who found fault and criticized.
"Critics" seldom finding time
to visit, relieve direct caregivers.
My oldest son came to visit once during the time his father was critically ill.
Our telephone conversations were few.
He was always finding fault.
He always told me how "incompetent"
Incapable I was.
I turned to him one time.
I begged for help.
For his Father.
He said "No".
People are reflections
of the lives they're living
especially when they
find fault with others and criticize.
After my husband,
After my husband,
his father's death,
oldest son's criticism escalated.
He felt "he" was now
"the head" of "the family".
He wasn't raised to be a "male chauvinist" but he certainly knows how to be one. Where and from whom and why?
Or is it he was "lowered" over years
To be someone without authority
There to provide, to accept
Every time I tried to trust him, he turned around and found a way to cause me harm --
mentally and emotionally.
He'd physically lost control one time, hit me so hard he broke teeth
and then said I deserved it.
Knocked his father down,
Running away.
He removed our ability,
his father, mine,
his grandmother and sister's, to see or talk
with "his" children
several times.
Children grow,
someday they'll know.
They'll see the light
The darkness their parents created.
Once before they married, we visited,
She led us on a "tour" of the house
We had no idea they lived together
This was decades
And a decade before
"Trial Marriages"
"Cohabitation"
Became commonplace.
Taken on a walking tour
Stopping outside a bedroom
Thankful my Mom
Could not take the stairs
Shocked by what we saw
Husband, self,
Our 10 year old daughter
Before handheld phone/cameras
A display of several bras & panties
We were "greeted" by
her underpants and bras
"displayed" on a bed
in a room they shared.
It was before the turn of this Century.
"Shacking Up" was not the Norm.
Showing contempt for someone's parents
Was the depth of being crude.
She didn't care. She felt "entitled".
Showed how much when they married.
Demanding we turn over cash to "them"
So they could go to Europe.
It was and continued to be "her way"
Money we'd saved,
despite previous experiences,
For a traditional "dinner together"
Both families sharing a special time together.
Her "out of control"
demands and commands
Left us with no choice.
We skipped the Wedding.
After all, it was just a "show
put on for pictures.
We weren't "honored guests"
we were simply
Pockets to Pick.
