Life Is A Process

Originally started September 7, 2013.                                                                             Mom was still very much with us. 

For a period of time 

Mom could speak 

on the room phone.

Watching and listening, 

hearing and noticing 

lessening skillsets.

 

She was progressing 

in deterioration. 

She'd often pick up the phone 

not knowing which end to

speak into, which end for her ear. 

Mom was still good at "covering up" 

and had the ability to laugh at herself.

 

She sometimes realized the phone 

was wrong side up for listening/speaking. 

The Dementia progressed to where

she no longer had this recognition.

Mom never ceased to amaze me. 

I'd spend time with her, 

notice what I felt were changes, 

think they're now a fixed behavior.

 

On another visit, 

not necessarily the next, 

that change would not be evident.

This was one of the "masks" 

I've talked about with Lewy Body Dementia; 

off and on, sometimes fixed sometimes loose, 

never knowing who was really there.

Mom seemed to stare a lot more than she used to. 
Yes, she had sight challenges and hallucinations

 made that condition even more challenging. 

Or, could medications Mom was receiving

produce these "side effects"?

She fixed her gaze more often,

seemed to be staring off into space,

without appearing to be thinking or focusing.

Trance like. Dementia or medications?

We've all "drifted off" from time to time 

on a thought or concern. 

This is how Lewy Body Dementia can affect 

in later stages and so we assigned this for years 

to LBD when maybe we were wrong, 

it could have been the "Meds".

We made many "missteps". Daughter and I.

We tried to remedy as we moved towards the unknown.

Not understanding aging and what it holds.

Mom remembered certain actions needed to be taken.

While in the process of doing the action,

she'd reverse her actions and undo what she'd done. 

She usually remembered she's supposed to lock 

her wheelchair before attempting to transfer to her chair.

She'll lock the brakes, move her hands and then believes 

she's not locked them and unlocks them. 

Hindsight is always so much clearer. 

Advancements in the short time since I started writing, 

in the field of Neurology & Lewy Body Dementia,

have moved light years ahead. 

Today . . .  I've somehow gathered the courage

 to "go public" with our challenges and share 

the problems and possibilities we uncovered.

I look even farther forward to the additional ways

I can add to more individual walks along the paths 

we maneuvered so precariously.

Mom loved to read and she was a life long learner. 

I know she would be pleased 

to see what we've accomplished, 

how we're working to resolve problems

that still exist and challenges we continue to witness.

Life is a process.

It's full of surprises, Mom would say. 

The best surprise: finding others sharing the journey.

Originally Published December 29, 2014. 

Mom's "100thyear". She passed the prior January.