Darkness falls
When light fails
So far in
No longer a sin?
Rampant today
Fixed, not remedy.
What do you do when
your son or daughter
"turns" on you?
They mis-remember
or choose to "twist" truth?
Rewriting their lives
and those of other
family members.
To conform to what
they believe "now".
You honor their request
even when it hurts.
When the mandate is
"NO CONTACT"
The choice is not yours.
Five years and counting.
A new grandchild arrives;
no announcement; no contact.
Wait! Intercession.
Wife of other son
asks "them"
to come to her home
while you're visiting.
It's a long trip,
you're only able to make it
once a year.
Concerned about meeting
the youngest
who was born after
the "dictate" of their father
regarding "no contact".
Concerned about
the younger two
and the older two --
they've been "raised"
with prejudice and with lies.
Allmost speechless
when the time arrives.
They walk through the door,
Mother puts them in a line
She makes sure they move along
A quick hug and it's "Next!" in line.
Mother parades them through
Quickly moving one after another.
The day will come. They'll see the light.
Darkness can envelope
Moving away as children develop.
You're just holding on,
Holding back years of tears.
Recalling abuse,
Mental, emotional & physical.
Concerned about
being "watched", "
measured"
and "evaluated"
not just by "him",
also by "her".
All you can say
to each grandchild is
"Any time", "Any time".
You wanted to talk
with each one
but fear if you do
they'll be removed.
You hold back tears,
joy and sorrow,
simply say "Any time"
Some day will be tomorrow.
Whenever they're able,
they can connect with you.
Once they leave, on their own.
You understand.
None are "of an age"
when they're not dependent
on their parents.
They don't understand
this isn't the first time
their father and mother
"removed" connectivity.
Always screaming how
"He" and "She" were abused
when he was the abuser
to three adult family members
and a very young sister.
It isn't me.
It wasn't his father
or his grandmother
or his sister.
We were his
"family of the past".
A high price to pay.
He'll see clearly some day.
He has a "master" to serve.
One who never will swerve.
He doesn't NEED OR WANT
connectivity.....with reality....
with reminders...with truth.
And so he strikes out
with the only weapon
he believes
will do the most harm,
be the most hurtful,
as others don't seem to work.
Negating everything I've ever done.
Verbally abusing each and everyone.
Except of course for where
Real responsibility sits in a chair.
When you learn of this
"plan" for "re-meeting",
you feel sick to your stomach
worrying about how it will affect
"the children"
after so long a time
without "talking with"
their Nana and their Aunt.
How does your son
who mandated and enforced
this "no contact" ruling
from his position of power
to control the minor children
approach this meeting?
No way to know.
Only to experience.
To see how he and his wife
"handle" the "meeting".
The hardest challenge
was the "first" meeting
of the youngest,
now almost five,
being told by his mother,
"I want you to meet someone.
This is your Grandmother."
What did his little mind think;
how will he remember this meeting...
will he remember...
it's been many months
and, of course, no other contact.
What brought on this "separation"....
it started a few months after
my husband, son's father's death.
I failed to exactly know
how many people would attend
A luncheon to honor
My husband, his Dad.
The other times it was striking out
at all the adults in the household:
his father, myself and his grandmother.
The son, of course, points a finger
only at me now
because I'm the only
one still living of the three adults.
Writing about these family challenges
is draining and brings up more
than I can cope with in one sharing session.
It's a dark story.
It's a sad tale of how a family
that was so close for so long,
started and continues a journey
where deception,
abuse & control are prominent.
There's so much I don't understand
How people can put on a "face"
to the world while being
so very different in who they are
and how they treat others.
Enough for now.
I will not bow down
To evil in any form.
I will take my life's journey
where it should go
rather than where
it's been directed
by other forces.
