Ties That Bind

Written and saved, January 2011

Shared for a very short time.

Pulled, closed, too soon.

Years have passed.

Feelings remain.

Someone reading

will understand

how time cannot erase

. . . the ties that bind.

Those first few years 

my husband's death 

was like walking

in a fog.

I remember 

the first year 

without my husband.

 

How did I move 

through that time, 

those days 

after the early morning 

of his passing? 

Back then

I couldn't write

about those times. 

Now I find words 

come to the surface 

wanting to be seen and heard. 

I still get a lump in my throat,

tears that form deep inside. 

I've not found it easy 

to cry since we parted. 

For me, 

it's taken 

going through 

the total change.

 

It's what happens 

when the cycle of 

your living/dying experience 

has moved past a point

each individual life marks. 

For me, 

it was his death, 

Mom's death,

and the death 

of our long time 

family pet, our cat. 

Mom always said,

the "good" and the "bad"

often come in threes.

She had many interesting

ideas from her culture.

Time of beginning, 

different perspectives, 

moving into 

another phase of life -- 

a change 

as significant 

as night into day.

When my husband passed, 

I went through a few of his things 

while our sons & families 

were in town for the funeral.

Ties. 

Easily shared. 

Value is perceived.

Memories of providing for family.

Enjoying celebrations through decades.

 

They were a part of who he was.

I enjoyed finding them for him.

Proud he chose to wear them

Loving him even more.

Brought enough 

for each Son to choose a few.

Never thinking they'd try to

split all between them.

Guess neither thought

their Sister would cherish.

Caught in the web

of loss this was a small "gain".

Thankfully one held back

taking all or she and I would

have none to touch.

Remembering, 

recalling,

our amazing life

shared 

with family & friends.

Now pictures, papers

Cards and memories.

Made to enjoy and recall.

Focusing on our lives together.

Be grateful. 

Cherish the moments.

Recognize the end

comes too soon.

Measure not by time.

Hold close the moments.

When they pass 

Only the memories remain.